why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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