I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
