Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
