I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
As shirtless as possible
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
