My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just invented taco cereal.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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