does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm sobbing to NWA
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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