Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
