i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
