I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
pray to the hookup gods
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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