I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
