doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
