i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize