i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
