she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
