actually, I'm a sock model
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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