I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
