maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
