Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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