I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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