Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
