i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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