I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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