I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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