im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
