He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
