I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
