so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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