Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
