next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Come share oat with me in your robe
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
