I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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