she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
