All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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