I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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