I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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