I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
