who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
