Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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