I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
only you would photoshop your dick
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
