i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
