there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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