the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
