Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
