I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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