So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize