Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
