So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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