i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
