We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
