the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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