yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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