Christians are straight up FREAKS
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
