I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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