garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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