i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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