i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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