I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
