i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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