is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
