I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
